Thursday, April 24, 2014

I love you

Dear Addelyn, Your Daddy is very sick. I have hesitated writing about this to you so many times, but there are things that I need to tell you. Things that I need you to know as they are happening, and I want to tell you these things so you can better understand me and my love for you. Four days ago we met your dad for dinner. His behavior scared me unlike anything has before. It scared me for you. He did nothing to physically put you in harm, but he was far from sober. His actions made me realize how very sick he is. You strived for his attention, showing off your ability to use your fork, and asking for his praise. Addelyn, I want you to know that the lack of attention and praise you received from him had nothing to do with you. He alarmed me enough that we had to leave, and I am sorry for that. I am sorry for so many things, but most of all I am sorry that you, at such a young age, strive for the attention that he is incapable of giving at this time. I want to tell you now that you in no way are the cause of his sickness, nor his lack of attention and care. Your daddy struggled with many things long before I met him. I loved him and he loves you, please know that. I want nothing more than for him to be a supportive and sober father to you, but right now he is not. Addy, I promise to strive to surround you with the support you need. I promise to be open and honest with you about anything you ask. I promise to do my very best to provide the love and support you deserve. I promise that I will continue to work to better myself, for you. I love you Addelyn, Mom