Monday, September 30, 2013

Today

Dear Addelyn,
Today was the first day I have seen the doctor that delivered you since your daddy and I divorced. It is very odd; the relationship one has with the doctor that delivers your baby. If it is a good experience, as mine was, you feel as though this doctor somehow knows everything about you, or at least the most important things, like your child and your journey into motherhood. For me at least, there is a relationship with her that is unique.
Anyways, although I didn't have to go into great detail, I did have to tell her of the separation between me and your father, and for some reason I felt guilty. I felt a bit ashamed, as if I let her down. She helped bring this beautiful and wonderful being into our lives and create a family that is no longer together, and because of that I felt as though I was in some way disappointing her.  It was silly of me to think that. And she was supportive and understanding and her main concern, as it should be, was the health and happiness of you and I. 

I just want you to know that I never imagined us the way we are now. But, I also never imagined our life together being as great as it is now.  I am so very thankful for you and for your happiness. I hope to be, and will try to be, all that you need me to be. 
I love you, 
Mom